YOU MIGHT BE A BARBERSHOPPER IF..........

-You've EVER gone into an elevator to listen to actual elevator music

-You hear a car horn and immediately reach for your pitch pipe

-You wonder why the seats on a plane aren't FOUR across

-The person sitting next to you at the symphony kindly suggests you stop humming the seventh of every chord played

-You sat through the movie "Vanilla Sky," thinking "Geez, that guy looks just like the bass from Four Voices!"

-You've ever gotten that weird look from the Dry Cleaner when you show up and ask if they can do sequins really well

-You've ever woken up in bed ALONE, and found makeup all over your pillow

-You watched the first round of American Idol and made a list of potential recruits in your city, for your chapter

-Your most prominent bumper sticker is "I Can't, I Have Rehearsal..."

-The only magazines in your John are Harmonizers (or Pitch Pipes)

-You have 1-800-876-SING on your speed dial

-You've ever gotten a punch in the face for asking a stranger in the bathroom if he'd like to learn a tag

- http://www.spebsqsa.org is your home page in your web browser. (Yes, really, but I changed it eventually because it took too long to load each time.)

- You and your wife can share stage makeup. (I misplaced mine once and had to use hers! Aaaaargh!)

- The first words your son sang as a baby were "Yip, Yeah" (from Acoustix, Unchained Melody, at the age of 18 months)

- You wouldn't think twice to drive seven hours to Llandudno with your seven-week-old baby to go to convention while still on maternity leave.  You return to work the next week saying "What did I do while I was off on leave? Oh, I've just been recuperating."

- You're an authority on travel routes around your city. You work five minutes from home, and your kids' school is equally as close, but you've sung all over the city, in all kinds of venues, for 20 years. If someone needs to know the easiest way to get somewhere, and where to park, and where the bathrooms are, you have all that information.

- You break into song when the microwave beeps, or the electrical lines make your radio hum and crackle, or the construction crew at your office turns on the saws.

- Your kids are used to curling up on a sofa in the corner of a hospitality room and going to sleep with all the singing going on around them. They actually think it's cool.

- You furtively sneak around your office carrying your folded-up sheet music and Cascio mini keyboard, looking for an open conference room where you can rehearse.

- You take your kids to a Gerswhin concert by the local symphony, and the kids can name more songs than you can.

- When you play a CD, you can already start to sing the first words of the next song, in the right pitch, just as the previous song finishes.

- The circle of fifths is tantamount to the circle of life!

-You've accidentally tried to blow a pitch on an Oreo....

-You let your wife think your having an affair so you can slip in one more rehearsal before contest...

-You've wondered what Rubin or Clay would sound like with a three good harmony parts....

-When the pastor starts reciting the Lord's Prayer, you can't help but hear the chords...

-When listening to an oldies station, you think they're singing the song wrong because it's not how Boston Common sang it...

-You've tried to get your dog to howl just so you can harmonize with someone...

-You think Air Supply would have been much better with a good bass...

-You've tried to tune your wind chimes to a barbershop seventh...(or wine glasses! It took two bottles and about an hour of sip-tuning!)

-After conjugal relations with your wife, you yell, "You Bet!"

-You've used old chorus uniforms for Halloween costumes....

-Your wife no longer cares how you got makeup on your shirt...

-You mistake the hum of an air conditioner for the sound of a quartet somewhere in the hotel...

-You find that Keepsake on the stereo calms your fussy baby better you do...

-Bedtime songs graduate from "Twinkle, Twinkle, Little Star", to "Sixteen Tons", "My Old Man", and "Java Jive" about the time your kids learn to talk...

-You look like a blue rock delivery man, carrying around a 5 gallon jug of water

-You memorize 20 arrangements for a show and forget your anniversary

-(SAI) You agonize for weeks over which outfit to wear to contest, but you'll pick a doctor out of the phone book

-Your grass is over a foot tall, around the first week in July

-You won't go to the market and get your wife some panty-hose, yet you'll wear lipstick and rouge in front of 400 Shriners

-You take a tuxedo on every vacation

-The greeting on your answering machine starts with bum, bum, bum, bum

-Your doctor schedules your heart surgery on a rehearsal night and you gotta think twice about it

-Your wind chimes are tuned to a minor 7th

-On meeting someone for the first time you ask them what part they sing before their name.

-Your parents suspect you have joined a religious cult because of your obsessive behaviour (actually true!)

-You always check you have a pitch pipe with you when you leave the house - then you check to see if you have your keys!